46 Questions to Ask On A 1st Date, and 4 Not To!

So say you're on a first date and you want to get past the initiall chit chat but don't want to get too nosey too quickly.

You know, you want conversation topics that are inspired and interested in the person without feeling too pushy or to awkward.

Finding true love is one of life's most beautiful experiences, but what do you say when you can't think of anything to say and still are in that pre-dating stage?

Dating coaches will tell you to ask open-ended questions: things like hobbies, movies, etc.

But after many years of living in a foreign country I can tell you is I hate being asked the same mundane questions over and over again.

So, how long have you lived in the Netherlands? Do you like it here? Where are you from?

boring!

So to make things a bit more interesting, I have here a list not-awkward and boring questions to ask (and some not to!)

so you can discover more about the amazing person your sitting across the table from, without getting to pushy or too dull on the first date.

The goal of a first date is to take the pressure off, and just get to know each other person, see if there's a connection or not. No fuss, no big expectations.

The questions are organized by topic for easy reference.

Don't forget to bookmark this page or print out the list, so you'll be prepared for your first date!

Let's start with 4 Questions Not To Ask on A First Date

1- How many dating apps are you on?

This question can lead to embarrassing questions about their dating life that they aren't ready to talk about. Like, how many dates they have been on, or whether they are seeing other people currently.

2- Why are you still single?

This question kind of implies that there must be something wrong with them for not being in a meaningful relationship and puts them on the spot to defend themselves.

3- Do you have a good relationship with your family?

Not everyone gets along with family, or maybe they have recently lost loved ones recently. Let's not go there right away. Give it time..

4- You look like you're great shape, where do you workout? It may seem like a casual question, but many people have body image issues and could feel really self conscious about you looking at their physical appearance and judging them. There are people who will put out kinda mediocre images of themselves out there on their social profiles because they don't want to be approached solely based on their looks. So opt to compliment them on their shoes or choice of beverage to make them feel more comfortable instead.

46 Questions To Get To Know Each Other

Icebreakers

1- Did you have a good day so far?

2- Where's your favorite place to go for _____?

3- What do you enjoy doing, outside of work?

4- Do you have any favorite places to go around here?

Entertainment

5- Are you into any podcasts or books? What do you like to read?

6- Do you like live music - seen any good bands or concerts? 7- Where would be your usual places to go take some of the stress off?

8- Who do you like to listen to for music?

Location

9- Have you ever been here before?

10- Have you lived anywhere else in the world?

11- Do you have a favorite shop where you like to go on the weekend?

12- Are you more of an outdoor person or indoor?

Social

13-Describe to me what a great night out with friends is like for you.

14-What does a typical day off look like for you?

15- Are you involved in any groups, sports or social activities? 16- Do you know any great places for (hiking, rare wines, playing pool) 17- If you could be on any reality show, or create one of your own, which one would you pick to do?

Culture

18- Do you like any fine arts? Museums, classical music, theater?

19- What kind of music do you like?

20- What's the best time you've ever had with friends?

21- What's your favorite places to go for a little weekend getaway?

22- Do you dance?

Food

23- Where's a good place to get _____ food?

24- Do you know any restaurants with a view?

25- Do you cook?

26- Do you have a favorite recipe to cook?

27- Have you traveled to foreign countries and had any interesting food experiences?

Travel.

28- Do you speak any other languages?

29- Have you traveled much?

30- What's your favorite kind of vacation? (Fun, relaxing, sporty, adventurous?)

31- Is there anywhere would you like to travel to?

32- Do you have a bucket list ?

Career

33- Do you have any hidden talents or fascinations?

34- What's your dream job?.

35- What were your favorite subjects in school?

36- What do you like most about your current work?

37-If you could be known for one thing, what would you want to be famous for?

38- Do you have any projects you're working on?

Emotional Deep Dive

39- When was the last time you cried?

40- Do you get mad when someone stands you up?

41- Have you ever felt pure joy that just made everything else disappear?

42- Are you more of a hang-out and sip the wine kind of person or a jump in and swim with the dolphins type?

43- Do you have any pets? Tell me about them.

44-Do you get stressed out in traffic or looking for parking.

45-Have you ever laughed really hard because you made a complete fool of yourself?

46-So, if you had to move to another town or state to be with someone you love, would you do it?

How To Make a Graceful Exit

1- It's been really nice meeting you. I think it's a good time for me to get going.

2- Thanks so much for this. I feel like I want to take a step back and process for a minute, so maybe we can talk again soon?

3- It's really cool getting to know you, what would you say to maybe seeing each other again sometime?

4- Thanks for this! I'm so happy I got to talk to an intelligent an interesting person for a change, this's been just what I needed! Maybe I can call or text you?

5- Please, let me pay for my half of the bill. I insist. I had a great time.

6-I had a good time, but I'll have to be honest, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Can I call you again in a few days once I've settled my spinning thoughts.

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I hope this list makes going out on a 1st date a little less nerve-wracking and a bit more in your control.

Especially if it's the first time you're meeting a person in real life- you want to at least have some fun while you're there.

So instead of freaking out, just try making each other a little more comfortable by asking questions like these to get to know someone respectfully, and without dealing with having to spill your life story and come out of it feeling exhausted and drained afterward.

This is a great chance for letting the other person talk , give them space to speak authentically about who they are, and open up and share their stories without you having any hidden agendas or trick questions making you feel pressured.

Keep it light and use your charm. Be fun, honest and without feeling you have to entertain them further, keep them happy, or take it to another date anytime soon.

Thanks for reading! Happy dating!

PS . Let know if you want a reading about any upcoming dates!

- readings are a great help to get rid of some of the fear of the unknown and provide you with success points and tips in advance.

Light and love,

Amy Norman-Foster

Expert Intuitive Practitioner